Paulina's Story: "I Just Want You To Know My Favorite Color."

Today, Paulina represents the idyllic image of a happy family — mother of two with a loving husband. She cherishes her family above all else. Her drive to create a close, loving, and supportive family derives from a traumatic childhood that never provided the familial love she has today.

Loss and struggle were the norm for her, especially after tragedy took her father from her life.

“After my dad died, I realized we were never going to be a happy family... And if I’m ever going to have one, it’s going to be one that I make. That became my goal — that everything I do should be toward having a stable life so that I could have a happy family.”

Even before the passing of her father, Paulina’s childhood home was filled with domestic violence and substance abuse. When she was four, she was placed in foster care. Her time there was brief — her parents regained custody, promising change — but her home quickly became unsafe again.

When she was six, her father passed away in their home from substance use, leaving her mother consumed by grief. 

Trauma continued to follow Paulina. Her mother’s new relationship brought hard drugs into their home, and to cover expenses, she rented out rooms. The environment was unsafe for a child, but Paulina stayed quiet, feeling she had to tolerate it to help keep a roof over their heads.

Her mother made limited attempts to parent her. Even in the rare moments they spent together, she seemed elsewhere. “She would talk about crazy things — like that my dad is still alive — and I'm like, I just want you to know my favorite color.”

When she publicly lashed out at Paulina in front of her principal, CPS intervened again, placing Paulina with the parents who would become her permanent family. Moving to a new neighborhood marked a turning point. Paulina made friends for the first time, including Henry, who became her best friend.

Her new family provided stability, but not always kindness. “They would verbally abuse me, but I never reported it because I had literally not been fed before and had been beaten and abused... They would dangle adoption in front of me, like, ‘Oh, you did this, we’re not going to adopt you.’” Once the adoption was finalized, they slowly began to warm up to each other.

As her adoptive mother’s health declined, Paulina stepped in as a caretaker through high school and into college.

During this time, Paulina’s social worker introduced her to SOAR for Youth, a nonprofit empowering foster youth through mentorship, leadership, and academic support. She met inspiring speakers, explored college, and became SOAR’s first junior counselor.

SOAR became a bright spot in her life. Determined to build the security she always lacked, Paulina applied to UC Berkeley. At 18, she moved into the dorms and lived alone for the first time. But with space and independence, the trauma she had suppressed began to surface.

She didn’t know which degree to choose. Although she wanted to study art, fear of uncertainty kept her from fully exploring. “I deprived myself of [college] experiences… At one point I was sleeping 24 hours at a time. I was really depressed and didn’t want to leave my room.” 

After one semester, she broke her lease and returned home. While continuing her work at SOAR, she found herself drawn to empowering foster youth and providing counseling. Realizing she could pursue her passions while building a strong foundation, she double-majored in business and art. After graduation, job prospects were limited by the pandemic. Following a brief stint in preschool education, Paulina accepted a full-time role at SOAR as a program coordinator.

Throughout these years, Henry remained a constant presence in her life. The two had been best friends since she moved into her new neighborhood at 12, and they began dating at 17.

He helped her gain the confidence to explore and love the different sides of herself — her goofy side, her artistic side, her nerdy side. With him, she found the love, care, and consistency that had been missing from her life. 

“He's been so incredibly patient with me,” she says. “I grew up in nothing but chaos and unhealthy, toxic relationships… It took some explosive moments here and there and him telling me, this is not how people act — and me being receptive.”

Through Henry's family, Paulina discovered what a healthy home could feel like. His mother welcomed her as one of her own. 

She always admired Henry's creativity, humor, and kindness. “When he valued me back, it made me value myself for the first time,” she says. “He provides a zest and appreciation for life that's hard to have when you've been through so much trauma.”

They later married and now have two children: their oldest son is two and a half, and their youngest is eight months old.

Parenting has been both joyful and challenging. With her first child, Paulina faced postpartum depression and flashbacks. “I think it was because I saw that it takes so much work to take care of a child, and my mom had to do that for me — and she still let go of me and didn't fight for me.”

After taking 15 months off, Paulina returned to work, beginning with homeless adults and eventually stepping into a role as a housing case manager for homeless women and their families. Alongside this work, she is also pursuing her Master’s in Social Work.

“I now see the other side of it,” she says. “I’m constantly going through my own struggles and getting reminded by my work why it is important to have grace and wraparound services... There’s a shocking amount of apathy going around, and if you just care, it makes all the difference.”

Creating her own family has fulfilled a dream she has cherished since she was four. “It’s exactly what I’ve dreamed of… I always had a high sense of self-preservation, but I have it even more now because I need to be there for my kids,” she says.

Despite her academic and professional achievements, what matters most to her is the family she has built — giving her children the love she always longed for and sharing with her husband the loving relationship she never witnessed growing up.

“My kids being healthy is one of my biggest accomplishments. And my relationship with my husband — our love story — is the greatest accomplishment of my life.”